Friday, May 14, 2010

Kidney Stones, PMT and Wireless-less

When I set out to post here daily, I neglected to consider unforseen circumstances, such as kidney stones (not mine, though witnessing that kind of pain in someone you love...), premenstrual synd-er, trauma (okay, mine...), lapses in my wireless and the very topics I swore against--self judgment, critism and depricating blither. I also knew that "stuff" would come up and that my angst in forging ahead regardless was a primary reason I should. (A therapist once told me never to use the word "should." Hmm...) So here I sit, on-line and hoping the connection persists until I finish this entry. If God/destiny/the universe/what-have-you intervenes, I'll accept the guidance.

Steven Pressfield might call my obstructions resistance, and perhaps rightfully. (Any of you who haven't read "The War of Art," I recommend it.) I have been writing, thank God, just not, well, here. I'm nearing my goal of completing my novel revision before my editor's return from vacation this week. Articles are going well and I have new short stories written and en route to the Writer's Digest story competition. (I'd share them here, but they're no longer "present.")

Speaking of which, I wonder many paintings, songs, stories, novels and other art would exist in the world if we didn't spend so much time re-vising, scrutinizing, putting up our own walls and distracting ourselves with ______, ______ and _____... Trust me, I want little more than to bring my work to its finest level. But I also know that having characters, stories and ideas dance around in my head eventually evolves into a sort of artistic constipation. Like other sorts of blockage, it's wise to let it out.

A friend of mine (and uber-talented composer) is here in Los Angeles, pitching a song he wrote, recorded and believes in with all his heart. In listening to the piece, his passion rings louder than its notes and words. Over lunch, he asked me how I focus on my craft. I've been pondering that since. My greater challenge of late is focusing on writing primarily while I'm writing, and setting it aside when I should be focusing on life. A HA! Perhaps my therapist knew what she was talking about. Forget the "should" business. I'm going to focus on whatever my heart and mind desire, knowing that the stories in my head only hurt me when I never let them out. Doing so will likely make me a more pleasant real-world participant anyhow. Wish me luck....

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